Monthly Archives: March 2012

Uk & Irish release of Eddie Murphy’s A Thousand Words is cancelled.

Eddie Murphy is no stranger to criticism, but it seems he may have hit rock bottom with his latest flick, A Thousand Words. The film, which was due to be released here on April 6, has received such negative reviews that Paramount will no longer be releasing the film in Ireland or the UK.

A Thousand Words is directed by Brian Robbins (who worked with Murphy on Norbit and Meet Dave), and sees Eddie Murphy play a fast-talking literary agent who makes an enemy in New Age guru Dr.Sinja (Cliff Curtis) after telling one lie too many. In response, Dr.Sinja places a curse upon Murphy until he learns to truthfully communicate….So, a rip-off of Liar, Liar, basically.

The film currently has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with 50 out of 50 critics absolutely slating the so-called “comedy.” Comments include:

– “The concept is unoriginal, the scenarios aren’t funny, and its message is banal” ~ Claudia Puig of USA Toda.
– “Only the most masochistic connoisseurs of the truly awful need check it out.” ~ Brian Tallerico of
– “With A Thousand Words, Murphy plunges headlong back into the swamp of insipid comedies he’d just crawled his way out of.” ~ Barbara VanDenburgh of the Arizona Republic

And even Variety, who can often be quite sympathetic towards widely panned films, seem to have had their sympathy worn down by the sheer stupidity of the project, with Justin Chang writing “Murphy’s largely wordless, physically adroit performance can’t redeem this tortured exercise in high-concept spiritualist hokum.”

The film was made in 2008, set for a 2009 release but was delayed when Dreamworks Pictures separated from Paramount and Viacom. In 2008, Brian Robbins also directed Murphy in Meet Dave, which was also panned, getting only 19% on Rotten Tomatoes. Maybe it’s time to end the bromance, lads.

Paramount didn’t respond to our inquiries, but we’ll keep you posted on their official line about the fiasco.

See the trailer here: watch?v=m2MO_ID4ltA

Personal Plug: Buy my Dad’s book Valentina!

A completely personal, nepotism-laden plug ahoy: My Dad Kevin McDermott – the multi-talented novelist, educator, text-book author, tyre-changing and emergency ATM extraordinaire (the latter’s for me & my siblings only, I’m afraid… though hey, if you’re stuck for cash give it a go, he’s a very nice man, he may help you out) – has written his third novel.

For young adults Valentina is a Margaret Atwood/Hunger Games-style novel, telling the story of Valentina, a young woman living in the privileged Citadel, at the heart of the protected Green Zone. She is the president’s daughter; sheltered, spoilt and arrogant. (Please note: Dad has promised me on countless occasions that she’s not based on either myself or my sister….neither of us are convinced.) But when she makes a secret trip to the Badlands, with her friends she must face up to the realities of life on an island teeming with climate refugees and to the responsibilities of her position.

The launch for Valentina was on Monday night & was a great night – my big brother Eoghan McDermott (you may know him from such shows as ‘The Voice of Ireland‘ and ‘Pop4‘) & the rest of my family were there, plus a couple of celebs including the lovely Glen from The Script and showbiz guru Julian Benson.

Have you ever seen so many bleached teeth?

Even taking in my obvious bias aside, it’s a great, original little book so if you’re interested in young adult fiction or have friends/relatives/house-plants that are, do go buy a copy. Because the more copies he sells, the better my birthday present will be.
Hmmm…actually, maybe I can understand the “spoilt” characteristic…

Valentina is available in shops and on Amazon now! My family’s lives are depending on you….

Thank you for your contribution to the 'Feed the McDermotts' Fund

Ciaran Hinds radio interview

It’s been a good month for the very lovely Northern Irish actor Ciaran Hinds. Not only is he the star of the recent Oscar-winning short film The Shore, but he also had big roles in the horror film The Woman in Black & the fantasy action flick Ghostrider 2: Spirit of Vengeance. Catching up with him for Spin 103.8’s We Love Movies, I get to hear about the appeal of horror, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, working with Harry Potter & getting punched by Nicolas Cage… Just click here listen!

How do solve a problem like MARGARET?

Directed by Kenneth Lonergan. Starring Anna Paquin, J.Smith Cameron, Mark Ruffalo, Matt Damon, Jeannie Berlin, Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno. 150 mins
Rating: Three and a half/Five
In cinemas February 24

How do you solve a problem like Margaret? With Martin Scorsese’s editing skills and a million dollar hand-out from Matthew Broderick, apparently. Writer and director Kenneth Lonergan’s troubled production began in 2005, but an inability to edit the film down from Longeran’s desired four hour run-time, two lawsuits and seven years later, and this laboured drama still feels like a work-in-progress – a complex and occasionally brilliant screenplay in dire need of some cohesion.

Ostensibly, Margaret tells the tale of Lisa (Anna Paquin), a bratty New York high-schooler who inadvertently plays a significant role in a fatal bus crash and becomes obsessed with setting it right. But taking its title from Gerard Manley Hopkins ode to a young woman’s fall from innocence ‘Spring and Fall’, and constantly referring to opera, Margaret becomes a weighty, intellectual and abstracting exploration of a teenager’s narcissism in post 9/11 New York.

Continue reading

RED DOG: We’re off to see the mongrel, the wonderful mongrel of Oz

Directed by Kriv Stenders. Starring Josh Lucas, Rachael Taylor, Noah Taylor, LukeFord, John Batcelor. 92 mins
Rating: Three/Five
In cinemas February 24

So, the polls are in, and it seems I’m a horrible person– apparently my soul turns itself when things, people or animals are pretty. Because while Red Dog is a sweet film, the true story of a mutt’s undying loyalty to and love for his master that caused everyone around me to unabashedly weep in a way that only a heart-wrenching dog story can, I didn’t join them. Because frankly, the bloody dog just isn’t cute.

But don’t say that to an Australian. The stuff of Aussie legend, Red Dog was a cheeky, laconic canine that was known for roaming Australia in the 1970s, finally settling in the mining town of Dampier. Though he forges a bond with the local bus driver (Josh Lucas) and chooses him for a Master, Red Dog remains a generous, loving member of the community who enriches everyone’s life.

As the film begins, Red Dog is critically ill (you know that’s not going to well), and locals begin to share stories with newcomer Luke Ford. But tone rarely feels heavy handed, and as Red Dog’s cheeky antics give a suicidal widow a new joie de vivre and plays matchmaker to a lonely Italian, the film traverses emotional states light-footedly. Only occasionally descending into predictable melancholia, the film is interjected with plenty of gruff, old-fashioned, Australian humour and features charming performances such as John Batchelor as a loveable, bucolic miner.

Continue reading

PROJECT X: A great film? Hell no. A great party? Hell yes.

Directed by Nima Nourizadeh. Starring Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Martin Klebba, Miles Teller. 88 mins
Rating: Four/Five
In cinemas March 2

The cinematic equivalent of “go hard or go home”, Project X is being marketed like a blend of Superbad or The Hangover. The truth is that Project X is much more. Because this chaotic comedy doesn’t just let you watch the build-up to or the fall-out of a night out – it’s the real deal. It’s the wildest, craziest, most epic party you’ve ever crashed.

More an experience than a film, Nima Nourizadeh’s found-footage style debut is an immediate, outrageous and exhausting invitation to see the world through the eyes of a trio of high-school losers trying to elevate their social status by throwing the mother of all shindigs.

Continue reading

BLACK GOLD: All that glitters…

Directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud. Starring Antonio Banderas, Mark Strong, Tahar Rahim, Frieda Pinto. 130 mins.
Rating: Two and a half
In cinemas February 24

Black Gold is the Freida Pinto of films: timeless, exceptionally pretty, ethnically ambiguous, and as bland as a limp, chain e-mail forwarding, pro-recycling noodle. Set in the 1930s, this Lawrence of Arabia-lite peplum centres on rival emirs Nesib (Antonio Banderas) and Amar (Mark Strong.) As part of a peace treaty, they agree that neither will touch the “Yellow Belt” of land between their Arabian sheikdoms – a treaty that is broken when oil is discovered there.

There is an interesting clash of ideologies at the heart of Black Gold. Nesib feels that being a poor Arab is like “being a waiter at banquet of the world”, while Amar’s conservative philosophy believes that “anything of value can’t be bought” – a standing brought under scrutiny when Nesib uses his oil money to set up schools and hospitals in his citadel.

However this political tone is undercut by the passionless coming-of-age Romeo and Juliet plot between Amar’s youngest son Auda (A Prophet’s Tahar Rahim) and Nesib’s daughter Leyla (Pinto, yawn.) There’s also a hammy tone courtesy of some Horatio Caine-worthy one-liners from Banderas, but they at least serve to punctuate the endless, inert scenes of Auda crossing deserts with a growing army. Meanwhile, James Horner’s relentless score aims for epic emotion, but is such a sweeping interpretation of “ethnic drama” that it could have been from The Mummy.

Continue reading

MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE: Mary Kate & Ashley who?

Directed by T.Sean Durkin. Starring Elizabeth Olsen, John Hawkes, Sarah Paulson, Hugh Dancy. 101 mins.
Rating: Four and a Half/Five
In cinemas now

Mary-Kate and who? In T. Sean Durkin’s brilliant and haunting debut, Elizabeth Olsen shows that while her vapid sisters may be the family’s millionaires, the 22 year old’s performance as a woman reunited with her sister demonstrates a wealth of maturity and talent.
Playing Martha, a young woman reunited with her sister after spending two years in a cult, Olsen is stunning, in every sense of the term. As the camera caresses her face with the unconditional love never enjoyed by her character, her dreamy, disassociated stare betrays a woman lost to her memories of another life. The atmosphere too, is dream-like – but with the breath-stealing foreboding of a reverie that’s slowly but surely drifting across the Styx into the realm of nightmares.

Continue reading

THE WOMAN IN BLACK: The Ten Commandments of Horror

Directed by James Watkins. Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Ciaran Hinds, Janet McTeer, Sophie Stuckey. 95 mins
Rating: One and a Half/Five
In cinemas February 10

1. I am the Roe, thy Critic, and thou shalt listen to none before me.
2. Thou shalt not make yourself the image and likeness of formulaic clichés worthy only of Chicken Soup for the Hallowe’en Lover’s Soul. For I, the Critic your Enemy, am bored senseless by your misty marshes, creaking rocking-chairs, evil dolls, overwrought scores and constantly bungled jump-scares.
3. Audience: thou shalt not take Harry Potter’s name in vain and tell him he’s a wizard at inappropriate times.
4. Remember the final climax, and keep it holy. Or unholy. Hell, bring in Richard Dawkins and make it scathingly atheist for all I care, but don’t provide an ending so predictable that it can only be described as tedium marinated in indifference and served on nest of uncooked boredom. For keeping my eyes open for this snooze-fest proved to be extremely hard work, so don’t you go calling a dibs-like “Sabbath!’’ in the final moments and resting.
5. Honour your father character by remembering that Daniel Radcliffe’s attempts to look like an actual adult in the final scene of Harry Potter were as convincing as McLovin’s fake I.D., and accept that the shortstack 22 year old makes the most unconvincing Dad ever committed to film.

Continue reading

THE MUPPETS: A phenomenon. Do doooo dee do do

Directed by James Bobin. Starring Jason Segal, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper and The Muppets (oddly enough.)
Rating: Five/Five
In cinemas February 17

There’s no point trying to resist. The Muppets are back and they’re ready to tickle your funny bone, put springs in your step and knit a cosy, multi-coloured jumper to lovingly wrap around your heart. I’m sure someone could scrape the dark recesses of their soulless shell of an existence to find something negative about The Muppets (hi Fox News!), but they’re clearly spectacularly evil individuals that should be ex-communicated from humanity. Because, quite simply, The Muppets is magic. And I’m a believer.

As the film begins, the Muppets haven’t performed together in many years. But when their biggest fan Walter uncovers a plan to sell The Muppet Theatre to evil businessman Tex Richman (Chris Cooper), he, his brother Gary (Jason Segal) and Gary’s girlfriend (Amy Adams) seek to reunite the Muppets, and remind them of just how great they were together.

Continue reading