If there is one thing the internet has taught us, is that there are lots and lots of strange people in the world — strange people with access to broadband. There are folks who genuinely believe David Icke’s idea that the world is controlled by lizard overlords; Obama birthers and conspiracy nuts of all kinds; women without fiancés, or even boyfriends, who’ve already planned every detail of their weddings; Macklemore fans; thousands of aggressive trolls; and then there are the MRAs.
I’ve written about MRAs before, but if you’ve managed to remain in blissful ignorance of them until now, I’ll give you a brief primer. MRAs or Men’s Rights Activists, are not activists in any real sense. There are definitely men’s issues that need addressing and highlighting, such as the high rates of male suicide, prostate cancer, male victims of rape and sexual assault, or the narrow definition of “acceptable masculinity” found in our culture. MRAs don’t care about these things. Instead their whole schtick is that women are evil harridans who will happily ruin a man’s life on a wet Wednesday afternoon because they’ve got nothing better to do.
MRAs believe that the average woman, particularly in the West, spend her youth riding the “cock carousel” then marrying some poor beta male when her looks begin to fade. She’ll then deprive him of all his worldly goods, either by divorcing him for no reason whatsoever, or by pumping out multiple children, as if women were not truly human and can impregnate themselves without a mate, like snakes.
MRAs come in all kinds of flavours. There’s male separatists or Men Going Their Own Way who supposedly want nothing to do with women, yet spend much of their time talking about the fairer sex. There’s deadbeat dad Paul Elam who campaigns against child support and who allegedly ditched his wife after she was raped, ignored his daughter for years, and lived off his girlfriend while creating his site A Voice For Men, in which his claims that women just love to drain the financial resources of men. Then there’s Roosh V and his Return of Kings crowd who are supposedly all rugged alpha men who spend their lives knee deep in pussy and in fear of false rape accusations, while advocating to make rape legal if it happens in a man’s home.
Some MRA sites are so preposterous you’re not sure whether or not they are serious or engaging in high level trolling. A case in point is Dick Masterson (ho ho) and his Men Are Better Than Women page — sample reasons: men have illegible handwriting, and men wear watches. And finally, the latest group, No Hymen, No Diamond.
No Hymen, No Diamond is a new Facebook group . The group has over a thousand fans. Here’s a recent post: “The average American woman is an attention whore constantly posting selfies, cheating on her boyfriend or husband, rationalizing her promiscuous behavior with her other slutty friends who do the exact same thing, has no goals or ambitions, has no personality, has no sense of morality or responsibility to behave properly, and has her head stuck up her ass.” Charming!
The group advocates virginity for women, but plenty of premarital sex for men. It also suggests you can check the virginity of your new bride by aggressively inserting two fingers into her vagina — which not only won’t tell you anything useful, but is essentially rape.
There are lots of misconceptions about virginity and the hymen. First off there is no reliable way of testing whether or not someone is a virgin. The hymen may or may not be present in a woman who never had penetrative sex. It can be torn riding a bike or horse or using tampons, and it can still be intact in a woman who has had multiple sexual partners. The hymen doesn’t cover the entire vaginal canal — if it did, young women would not be able to menstruate — but is a stretchy membrane. The reason some women bleed during their first sexual experience is more likely to be nerves and inadequate lubrication instead of the hymen tearing. What’s more, if someone has never has good old P-in-V sex, but has had plenty of oral or anal sex, can he or she really claim to be a virgin? Nope!
In some ways, the No Hymen No Diamond chaps are doing the rest of us a favour. If these men are holding out for a grown up woman who is not only a virgin, but an attractive, kind, decent human being who wants to marry a man who spends his time on the internet bitching about “sluts”, well they’ll be waiting a long time. No women with any self-respect wants to be with a man who disregards her personality, intelligence, achievements, education, sense of humour, life experiences, and all the many things that make up a complete person, but sees her value — or lack thereof — as wrapped up in a tiny, immaterial membrane of skin.
No self-respecting woman wants to be with a man who is completely stupid either, and since their sign actually reads: No Hymen, No No Diamonds, there’s an excellent chance these guys are not the sharpest tools in the shed.
Here’s another sample post:
“According to a source close to the White House, Donald J. Trump loves our page too! He loves it so much in fact, that when he is elected as president he is considering a $500 tax break for every like or share you deliver to #NoHymenNoDiamond’s fan-page! Talk about Making America Great Again – One like at a time!”
Hmmm… I don’t think so. Posts like these, which are so divorced from reality they have surely got to be satire, makes me think that No Hymen, No Diamond is a troll page. At least I hope so. But even if it is, the people following the page may well take it seriously. It would make me angry if it wasn’t so sad.