FASTER: Make a Dwyane Johnson Movie in 5 Simple Steps!
Directed by George Tillman Jr. Starring Dwayne Johnson, Billy Bob Thornton, Moon Bloodgood, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Maggie Grace. 97 mins.
In cinemas March 25
At one point in Faster Billy Bob Thornton casually flicks through a Cosmo-style magazine, landing on an article providing men with five steps to satisfying women. Moved by the undoubtedly inspired insights usually provided by those deeply analytical thought-pieces, he rings up his estranged wife, proudly declaring “I got you figured out!” Well if it’s good enough for Billy Bob, it’s good enough for us, so allow me to present:
Five Steps to Satisfying Faster’s Audience.
Step One: Keep it ...