Most women don’t climax every time they have sex, but there are a few things you can do to help your body along. Here are some ideas. Read the rest of this entry »

Quite a lot of women suffer from stomach cramps after sex. The pain can range from mild to pretty severe. The pain can be caused by any number of things, including:

• Energetic sex that involves lots of exercise
• Sexual positions: certain positions can cause the penis to hit against the cervix or uterus, particular if your sexual partner is pretty large. Do this repeatedly and the pain will get worse.
• Ovarian cysts
• Pregnancy: mild cramping after sex is pretty normal if you’re pregnant. If the pain seems intense, see your doctor.
• Chlamydia: while most women don’t experience any symptoms, a few get cramps.

What you can do:
• Change positions for a few weeks, and alternate between deep and shallow penetrative positions thereafter.
• Use kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles.
• Have a warm bath after sex.
• See a doctor if you are worried about cysts.
• Get tested if you’ve had unprotected sex.

Apparently this is what you do…

footjob

Hi Anne
ive never had an orgasm. i was thinking about buying a vibrator but i dont even know where to begin there are so many different kinds…any tips on buying one?

Hey

Yes I think a toy could definitely help as these are designed specifically to help you climax (and take the work out of masturbation).

As regards the toy itself, I’d go for a rabbit-style vibrator. There’s a reason why this design has become a standard – those vibrating ears are really good for clitoral stimulation, and clitoral stimulation . There are hundreds of these as well, but I’d recommend the Jessica Rabbit 2.0. I’ve got one myself and I’m very fond of it and I’m not alone in this – it was voted “Best Orgasms” in Company Magazine last year. Don’t forget to buy sex toy cleaner. Read the rest of this entry »

hi ann,
my boyfriend has never had problems in the bedroom but recently we went through a phase of not using condoms, and now we want to go back to using them but every time we do he goes soft. any tips on how we could try to get back into using them?

Hi

First things first: If you’ve changed brands recently this could be the problem.

If not, it’s worth bearing in mind that this is actually a fairly common male problem. The cause is generally psychological – either a man feels he won’t be able to ‘fill’ the condom, or he’s subconsciously resisting using condoms because he prefers sex without them. Once it’s happened once or twice, he starts worrying about it, which unfortunately makes the problem worse.

It doesn’t help that stimulation often stops while he’s putting on the condom. Have the condom ready, and continue to use your hands or mouth on him while he’s opening up the package. If you know there is something that always makes him very horny, do that. Alternatively you could put the condom on for him while he’s stimulating himself. Mostly you guys just need to keep at it. Barring medical problems (which seems unlikely in this case) his ability to sustain an erection should return.

Finally, if he’s had some other difficulty recently (stress, anxiety, bereavement, illness) it could be this and not the condom at all. Thought it’d mention it just in case.

You’re obviously wise enough to realise that what you see in porn often fails to square with reality, or you wouldn’t have asked the question in the first place. Having said that, yes, some women do really enjoy anal sex as it gives them the feeling of being very “full”. Other women may enjoy anal play but not necessarily be keen on having full anal sex. And some women are not keen at all. You won’t know until you ask.

It mightn’t be a bad idea to approach the topic after sex as opposed to beforehand – less pressure. When suggesting something new it’s often better to broach the topic like: “Have you ever wondered what…” instead of a “I want to…”

If your girlfriend isn’t totally against the idea but is worried about pain, you could try suggesting butt plugs to begin with. You should also get one for yourself. A man’s prostate gland can be stimulated through the anal wall and most guys find this really pleasurable.

Anal sex should not be painful. If it is, you’re going too fast or not using enough lube. Taking your time and using plenty of lube are the two golden rules. Go slowly. And by slowly I mean really slowly. It takes time to for the anus muscles to adjust to the new sensation.

Get a lubricant designed for specifically for anal play. Use plenty. Then use a bit more. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate. Most sex shops have them, if not, look online. Remember you need a water-based lube, as oil-based lubes are not safe to use with condoms.

Use a condom. Anal sex carries a greater risk of spreading STIs as the skin of the anus is thinner than the vagina.

Use a fresh condom if you move from the anus to the vagina. If you’re in a monogamous relationship and both have been tested for STIs and are no longer using condoms, you need to wash your penis thoroughly before switching between anal and vaginal sex. Bacteria from the anus can easily
give your girlfriend an infection such as cystitis (bladder infection).

Some people are concerned that anything anal can be a bit dirty. Obviously it can be… All sex shops sell douches specifically designed to clean the area.

It’s not always possible to orgasm every time you have sex. Sadly for the ladies, this is particularly true. However, any woman can increase her orgasmic potential by trying out these ideas:
Read the rest of this entry »

Q&A: Spots on my penis

There are a number of different things that can cause spots on your genitals. Best case scenario its nothing serious. Skin oils can cause little white spots on the penis and these are harmless. Eczema can sometimes appear on the penis as well. The spots could also be papules (small inflamed pimples). Most are not serious, but it’s worth getting it checked out. Some forms of penile cancer can begin this way and some papules may be infectious. Herpes and secondary syphilis cause little ulcers on the penis as well.

Bottom line? Go and see a doctor. It’s not worth taking a chance with this.

Hi all,

I keep getting loads of the same questions on Sexual Speaking (Red FM with the most excellent Victor Barry on Thursdays at 11:15pm) so I thought I’d answer some of them here.

If you have any questions, just stick ‘em in the comment box on any subject I’ll get back to you.

Anne

Ever considered the carbon footprint of buying an adult DVD or a sex toy? Well, certain players in the adult industry have and it’s gratifying to know that they’re doing something about it. Have a read of this