OK, now I’m a sucker for surveys and statistics but I’m finding it hard to buy this one. A German survey found that educated women are less likely to be satisfied by sex because they are too busy thinking. According to the survey 62 per cent of women who had completed their education said they frequently had problems achieving orgasm, while only 38 per cent of women without the equivalent of the Leaving Cert had this problems. Uh huh…

The blowjob is a play in three acts – arousal, increasing excitement by finding a rhythm and orgasm. As promised on Red FM’s Victor Barry show, here are some ideas to try. Read the rest of this entry »

Do you ever wonder about the sex lives of tabloid readers? I know I do – but then I am a nosy beeatch. Well, wonder no more – here are the results of The Sun Dear Deidre sex survey.

• One in three Sun readers have used the Internet to start a sexual relation and a massive 25% have used it to cheat.
• 10% of readers have had sex with more than 11 people that they met over the net.
• 80% surf for porn online. Soft porn is more popular among female Sun readers and 75% of male readers look for hardcore adult material. The blokes are a little coy about this through – two-thirds of men hide their online habits from the partners.
• One in three male readers think they are addicted to online porn, with 50% of under-19s thinking they may have a problem.
• Four out of five reckon the Internet has had a positive effect on their sex lives.

It’s not often you’ll find me feeling sorry for successful actresses, but poor Sarah Jessica Parker. Last October she topped Maxim’s Unsexiest Woman list, which you’d think would save her from the ignominy of being turned into a sex doll, but I guess plenty of lonely men disagree with Maxim’s readers.

Ok, now you don’t expect blow-up dolls to be the epitome of class, but c’mon! The “Sarah Jessica Porkher” doll loves “Sex in her Shitty.” Tacky. And that’s just the bad puns…

The veteran feminist, former porn star turned pioneer director of adult films, sex educator and sex toy designer talks to The Gazette about filmmaking, censorship and feminism. Read the article here.

Candida Royalle

I keep reading article after article that married people have better sex lives than singles. Apparently the reasons why married people (or those in long-term relationships) have better sex lives is because the have sex more frequently, find it easier to tell their partners what they want and trust each other enough to experiment.

While I imagine this is probably true for older people, I wonder if the same holds for people in their twenties and thirties. After all, there comes a time in your life when meeting people in nightclubs and pubs ain’t as easy as it used to be.

Anyway, I’d like to hear from anyone who has been with his or her partner more than five years but is still attractive enough to have options. Is it true? Or do wedding planners and Christian organisations sneakily sponsor these articles?

I’ve just read that one in seven people dump their lovers via text. At first I was shocked – c’mon people, a little courtesy! – until I remembered that my behaviour has been as bad, if not worse, than this. Come to think of it, a text message may have been nicer.

There was the guy whose calls and texts I just stopped answering. We were out one night with my friends and he complained the whole time – didn’t like the music, didn’t like the crowd, didn’t want to dance. Then after we went back to my mate’s house, complained that it was damp, small and too crowded with CDs! Hmmm… annoying. So much so that I couldn’t bear to hear his whining voice ever again.

Then was the guy I dumped over the phone. Not tragic in itself, but he was half-asleep at the time. He answered the phone with a groggy hello and I cheerfully said, “Good morning. I think we should break up. Go back to sleep. Byeee!” Add to that the fact that I’d lost my mobile so he couldn’t get hold of me. He eventually came around to my gaff to ask me what had happened. We were sitting outside on the grass and he tried one of those tickling as seduction moves. Not a great idea – I am very ticklish and as I was squirming to get away, my elbow connected with his nose and broke it. The guilt…

And then there was the weirdo that offered to be my slave and kept arriving at my house at strange hours. No matter how often I told him that I didn’t fancy him, he wouldn’t get the message. In a final act of desperation, one afternoon I removed my top and stuck my naked shoulder around the front door and told him I was having sex. He still didn’t get the message so I pulled the same stunt every time the doorbell rang. The last time he came round, I was actually having sex, so I sent the intrepid young man to deal with him and finally, finally, after about three months of trying, he left me alone.

I hate those long drawn out good-byes – “It’s not you, it’s me. We just want different things etc etc…” But, but, but, unfortunately sometimes it’s kinder. And it’s quicker and cleaner than the passive aggressive move of being such a bitch (or bastard) that your no-longer-loved-one dumps you. More importantly, the universe always gets its revenge. Dump nicely – it’s good for your karma.