Ok, so the superslick Sabar toy looks like a lightsaber, but unfortunately it ain’t, but you could do like porn star, Mika Tan and use the real (well, sorta) thing.

Mika confessed to the Naughty American that’s such a Star Wars fan that she had relations – ahem – with her lightsaber and broke it. Feel the force… oh damn!

Check out this super slick looking sex toy. The Sabar is the creation of Michael Young, an industrial designer. As far as functionality goes, the Sabar is doesn’t sounds as impressive as it looks – simply hit a switch for more or less vibrations. But damn, it does look good.

When I first walked into a sex shop, at an impressionable young age, I was terrified by at least half the toys on sale. All the vibrators were that sickly shade of orangey brown that’s supposed to pass for flesh; the packages all featured 80’s soft-core porn stars with big permed hair and frosted lipstick; and more than a few of them were huge – one was the shape and size of a pineapple!

I left with my wallet intact.

These days, toys have got a lot more woman-friendly and some of them are so positively discreet that you’d hardly know they were sex toys at all.

Here are my favourites. Sometimes it pays to be discreet…

I Rub My Duckie
One of the original discreet toys and a former winner of best sex toy at the Erotic Awards, the Duckie looks like an innocent bath time toy, but it actually a pretty damn good waterproof massaging vibrator. The classic is my favourite – I am a woman of simple tastes – but the Duckie also comes in Pirate, Bondage, Devil and Paris styles.

Available from Love Honey for £12.89 or Sex Pot for €29.99.

I Rub My Penguin

Even cuter though is the Penguin. It’s a waterproof multi-speed massager, and comes with a little ice shelf that can be wall-mounted in the shower.

Available from Love Honey for £24.99.

Screaming O Screaming Octopus Clitoral Vibrator

Kinda weird looking… but not bad at all for the price. Despite the Screaming O Screaming promised in the name, the vibes aren’t particularly strong so this is a good bet for those who are a little nervous about using a large or rabbit vibrator or don’t want to scare the man in their lives. After all, what man could be jealous of an octopus?

Available from Love Honey for £9.99.

Durex Play Little Gem

Ok, this one doesn’t look like a toy, but it’s so small and discreet, you’ll have no problem hiding it. This little vibe is designed for clitoral stimulation and very good it is too! Try using this on a bloke while giving him a blowjob.

Available on sale for €15 (normally €65!) from Durex

Hippo Vibrator
Another bath time toy. The Hippo is a one-speed massager that’s more sensual than sexual, but still, he’s kinda cute…

Available from Sex Pot for €29.99.

Tingle Tip Electric Toothbrush Clitoral Stimulator

Not bad at all for such a small toy. The Tingle Tip fits onto an Oral B electric toothbrush (remove the brush first!).

Available from Love Honey for £9.99.

The big question in the Sexton household this week is whether or not we’d be willing to have sex with a robot. The reason this topic is taking up much mental energy is that a) my boyfriend Thomas, best friend Mr H and I are all sci-fi geeks and b) artificial intelligence researcher David Levy reckons we’ll be having sex with robots in the near future.So far, I haven’t found anyone willing or perhaps just willing to admit that they’d give it a go. Hmmm… I just don’t know. Robot butler? Excellent – bring me the newspaper, Jeeves X3! There is a large part of me that thinks that this would be a step too far, but I wonder… I am very fond of sex toys and I guess that a sexbot could be nothing more than a really advanced personal pleasure device. Although, I kinda thought that what men were for! That, and taking out the trash.Maybe, in a pinch, a robot lover might be better than none at all, but personally, I prefer a more old-fashioned fix when in need of company – go out and find some! And you can send them on their way when you are both done instead of clearing out the hall closet and propping your lover up against the hoover.Levy also thinks that robots will become so human-like that by 2050 we’ll marry them. Why on earth would anyone want to do that? I promise to love, honour and upgrade your software, till death – or technological advances – us do part. Weird.Robots certainly would be a lot simpler than rock (pop?) stars though. After the Snow Patrol concert my friend Ciara had me on a wild goose chase looking for one Mr Gary Lightbody. No luck though… Although I since I got to hear exactly what she’d like to do to him I can safely say, he really missed out!In the next issue of the lovely HP, I’ll be having a look at the first results of the Sexual Wellbeing Survey. One thing I found worrying is that a mere 58% of us feel comfortable with telling our lover what we like sexually. Me, I’ve always found that a well-timed whisper in the ear works almost every time for small requests and that an “Ooh! You know what might be fun…” post-orgasmic suggestion is generally a winner for more elaborate wishes. But for the 42% of you who find this difficult, I have some suggestions in the next issue.Good news, sisters, feminists have better sex and relationships. Read all about it here – http://www.livescience.com/health/071017-feminism-romance.html And now some homework! Time Out has ten suggestions for those who like to have sex in the great outdoors. While the weather is still reasonable, you might want to try them out. But don’t forget the golden rule – Don’t get caught! http://www.timeout.com/chicago/article/23460/rules-of-engagement dangerously explicit robots after the jump Read the rest of this entry »