AVERAGE PEOPLE ARE… AVERAGE
A study has found that most British men rate their sexual skills as slightly better than average. The survey carried out by the not-very-scientific chat room site Cam4 found that, on average, men say they are a six out of ten in bed. The women surveyed were more enthusiastic, and rated their partners as a seven on average. However they were less sure of their own skills and most of the women felt that they too were a six on the scale. Two thirds of the respondents, male and female, believed their partner was a better lover than them. On the face of it, this lack of sexual confidence seems quite sad, but who would you rather be with – a partner so blithely confident they never listen to feedback, or someone who thinks you are great and is willing to do anything they can to make sure you enjoy yourself?
VIRGINIA JOHNSON, RIP.
Virginia Johnson, one half of the groundbreaking sex research team, Masters and Johnson, passed away this July at the age of 88. Johnson began her sex research career in the late 1950s at Washington University in St. Louis as William H. Masters’ assistant, and later his collaborator. The two became lovers and married in 1971. Masters and Johnson overturned the widely accepted Freudian principle that vaginal orgasm, instead of clitoral, was the correct response of a sexually mature woman; and their books Human Sexual Response and Human Sexual Inadequacy were both bestsellers.
CHEATING MARRIAGES ARE BEST
A sociologist has argued that non-monogamous marriages are the healthiest. Eric Anderson, author of The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating interviewed 120 men about relationships, sex and monogamy and concluded that cheating was a rational response to the irrational expectations of monogamy. The sociologist asserts that a wandering eye can be viewed as a sign of a healthy long-term relationship because in established relationships sex generally decreases in frequency. Cheating allows for both sexual novelty and the intimacy of a long-term relationship. While there are certainly some interesting ideas here, Anderson’s 120 interviewees were all sportsmen aged 18-22 years old, and the sociologist seems to have ignored the possibility that monogamy may be just as monotonous for women.
10 ORGASM COMMANDMENTS?
Did you know that the first week of August is National Orgasm Week? To celebrate, the Explorgasm Women’s Health Initiative held a discussion in Chicago and their speakers came up with ten rather weird rules for better sex. Here they are:
10. When dating, stop pretending to be someone you are not.
9. Jesus, the Bible, and the church are not all you need. Felicia Houston, founder of the Anointed Wives Ministry reckoned that sex was important too. Er, yes.
8. Touch yourself in a sensual manner; learn to appreciate your body.
7. The oral sex scenes in the porn videos are bogus.
6. What a man eats affects the sperm. True!
5. If your husband would rather watch sports or play video games, kneel down in front of him. “The distraction works,” said Marie Green of Naughty Rooms. “No man would say no to that foreplay.” Huh? I’m confused. Is that a subtle way of offering a blowjob or just waggling your boobs in front of the telly?
3. Use a dental dam when receiving oral sex, as it will force him to work harder.
2. But… Don’t work so hard for him! Don’t deep-throat, use your hand and mouth together.
1. Men must take it slow so that women will achieve moisture and adequate lubrication said Dr Jessica Shepherd. Conversely, “men take little time to climax; a man could orgasm just by looking at you.” Well now I feel bad – I’ve never made someone come by just standing there.
For some more practical advice on improving your orgasm, see this week’s sex tip.