Ah Cosmo, how I loved it as a teenager. I don’t know if it is that I have gotten older and wiser or if Cosmo has gotten really, really bad, but their sex advice often makes me go “huh?” Now some clever person has collected some of the weirdest advice found in the magazine. Very funny indeed. Read it here.
“2. “Hold his penis in one hand and lightly slap it with the other… you can tap it back and forth like you’re volleying a tennis ball and lightly pinch the skin on his shaft and testicles. Many women make the mistake of being too gentle.”
Second opinion: make the mistake of being too gentle. At least until you ask.
3. “Think of his shaft… like the outer curve of your breast. …Take his shaft between your open palms and tap it back and forth, almost like you’re volleying a tennis ball. The quick movements are a fun way to wake up his nerves.”
First, do women like their breasts to be “volleyed” like tennis balls? Also: stop hitting me.”
I’m not sure I want to be like a tennis ball.
Yeah, seems a bit too close to cock torture, which is fine if that’s your thang. I particularly like the tickle his feet with your nipples. In what universe is that sexy? Oh, and the tomato sauce nipples as well. Odd. But why stop there? Gravy? Mince? Guacamole? The possibilities are endless