Hi Anne
ive never had an orgasm. i was thinking about buying a vibrator but i dont even know where to begin there are so many different kinds…any tips on buying one?

Hey

Yes I think a toy could definitely help as these are designed specifically to help you climax (and take the work out of masturbation).

As regards the toy itself, I’d go for a rabbit-style vibrator. There’s a reason why this design has become a standard – those vibrating ears are really good for clitoral stimulation, and clitoral stimulation . There are hundreds of these as well, but I’d recommend the Jessica Rabbit 2.0. I’ve got one myself and I’m very fond of it and I’m not alone in this – it was voted “Best Orgasms” in Company Magazine last year. Don’t forget to buy sex toy cleaner.

You’ll need a water-based lubricant as well. Oil-based lubes destroy toys and condoms. Get a plain lube (avoid anything heated, cooling or flavoured to begin with). I like the Durex Play lube, Astroglide and the Sliquid lubes. Vibrators, cleaner and lubes are all available in sex stores such as Anne Summers or one of the many others. However I normally buy online as its generally cheaper. I’ve used LoveHoney.co.uk a lot and have no complaints.

Some other advice…

Get yourself in the right frame of mind before you begin. A fantasy, erotic story or movie that gets you horny helps.

Use the lube generously.

You need to position the vibrating ears right, so squirm around a bit to make sure they are on the clitoris as opposed to just near, slightly above or below it. It can also help to move your pelvis slightly up and down so that the ears are travelling up and down the clitoris.

A lot of women get the feeling they need to pee just before orgasm. Obviously, this makes them hold back because they are afraid of an accident. Empty your bladder first so you’ll know it’s not a genuine desire to use the loo.

If you do succeed, remember that it’s easier for most women to climax through masturbation or with a toy than with a partner, so it’ll take time, patience and a willingness to guide your partner before this happens. Also a lot of women find that a toy gives them a more intense orgasm than a partner.

And finally…

The vast majority of women are physically capable of reaching an orgasm – so don’t give up hope. Orgasm is a learned response, so you have to teach your body how to do it – and that takes practice.

Good luck and let me know how you get on.

Anne