Hey all
You might have read about a recent survey that found that 80 percent of men feel good about themselves after a one-night stand, but only 54 percent of women do. According to Professor Anne Campbell of Durham University who conducted the survey women may feel guilty ‘used’ after a one-night stand. Anyway, men and women of Ireland – I’m curious to know what you think.
Do you enjoy one-night stands? Or find them a bit of a letdown?
Are they more exciting or less fulfilling than a regular partner?
Any really good or really bad experiences?
What are the pros and cons?
Ever had a one-night stand you really regret, and if so, why?
What are your Do’s and Don’ts before/during/after a one-night stand?
Anything else?
Cheers
Anne
i’ve never had a fully fledged penetrative sex first night meeting never meet again. So I can’t claim knowledge really, I did have plenty of having fun together, meeting up once/twice and finding no spark, but I always thought it was worth giving a try to.
Why no penetrative sex on the first night? Was that choice or just the way things worked out?
just the way it worked out i suppose. have had sex with someone on the first night that i knew before and subsequently got together with for a while but don’t have anyone that i never ever did the wake up next morning and say “that was A1 Sharon” and never meet again.
Yeah… but think it’s different if you know the person, even if it only is a one-off.
I’ve only ever had one night stands (penetrative sex) with friends. The first time was with a girl who I could have started seeing but decided straight away that I didn’t want to. A little friction was caused from it but it all ended up cool. The 2nd time was with another girl friend and it didn’t cause any hassle afterwards. We were both just looking for fun and nothing else.
The one time I had a chance to have a proper one night stand with a total stranger was when I met a girl in a club on one of my trips to Dublin. After we made out for a while she invited me back to hers. I bought myself a pack of condoms and off I went with her. We went straight into bed and got topless and made out some more, that was as far as it ended up going. I reckon it was that time of the month but I got nothing out of it for my efforts. A friend of mine told his older, very mature sister about it and she laughed “What?.. she didn’t even give him a hand job??”. I thought us guys would be the only ones thinking that way.
Beyond that I don’t like to commit to a one night stand because I don’t like to lead people on and be a dickhead. It can be too much effort to try an get someone you don’t really know to sleep with you when you don’t intend on making anything out of it. I’ve a very guilty conscience.
If it was as easy as it was with my friend mentioned above then I would definitley do it more, but no sex compares to that with a partner you really care for.
Ive had a few one night stands. They serve a purpose. Youre out, having a few drinks and you get a bit horny and you just want to be fucked! You want to feel warm naked skin next to yours. Im in a relationship now and theres nothing like the sex you have with someone you have a bond with but relationship sex and one night stands are very different things, they cant really be compared.
Ive never had a bad experience with a one night stand. Had an ex boyfriend who was a really bad shag but with a one night thing theres no pressure to perform. You know exactly what you and the other person wants. I want to please my boyfriend and I want to make and keep him happy but with the one night stand I want to make myself happy.
Ciara, Thanks for your comment. I was just sitting here feeling not so great after my one-night stand last night. It was the second time I’ve gone home with someone I met. The first time it was a guy from my school and last night it was a friend of a different guy from my school that was visiting for the weekend. I guess i was feeling bad because i was so drunk, i could barely remember exactly what happened. I know for a fact we used protection but i’m not so sure whether he finished…i know i did because I leaked a lot of liquid during it and this had happened during the first one-night stand. Anyway, I think you are right, performance doesn’t matter..your there for one thing. But it has NEVER been great sex. Its actually kind of disappointing…I have had better and more fulfilling sex in a relationship for sure. So in that sense, one-night stands don’t compare.
can i just say, I think those are two of the most interesting and illuminating comments left on any blog anywhere. they were both clearly spontaneous and natural and showed (to me anyway) that when it comes to sex & sexuality we’re probably all moving along an arc from “making love” through “enjoying and expressing ourselves and our bodies” to “just seeking for a spark”.
I don’t think there’s a person out there who hasn’t had exactly the sentiments that you both said and you both just said them really honestly.
I’ve never really had a one night stand but recently I had sex with a guy I had just met on our first date, which I haven’t done before. The next day I had very mixed feelings about it.
The rational part of me thought that I had no reason to regret it as I was sober and enjoyed the sex. But another part of me felt insecure and maybe a little bit used.
That feeling went away because later we ended up seeing each other for a while. I think it would put me off having a one night stand in the future. I don’t necessarily want a relationship with the person I’m sleeping with but if they aren’t attracted to me on any other level than sexually it would leave me feeling unfulfilled and unappreciated. It’s just not for me.
I think if you enjoy it and dont have any regrets afterwards go for it, but if you felt like I did don’t lie to yourself.
Thank the Gods for blogs. Where else could you read such honest, liberating words? Thank you!
I have had loads of one-night stands with people I never met before or since, and I now realise I always had mixed feelings about them. I don’t think I’ve ever felt “insecure and maybe a little bit used”, like Laura, but certainly uncomfortable. And like Nancy, I have found relationship sex much more fullfilling. But also more frightening, as you have to make a committment to a person.
I never thought of women as sluts for having sex on the first night, and honest-to-God still cannot see why so many men, and women, see them so. Yet with age, I can understand why women are fearful of giving into desire in some circumstances, and am now likewise wary myself of hopping on everying but the crack of dawn.
One nighters can be great fun in the sence that you can feel fully free to do things you’d be too shy to ask a regular partner, because you know you won’t be meeting them again. Of course, I had to go and screw this up by falling in love with women I’d meet under those circumstances. And later, when I was able to **** them, **** them, ***** them, I always felt weirdly empty, a bit disgusted with myself. So I’m never happy. But I am older now and more discerning. Which is 90% of the reason I’m single!