When I first walked into a sex shop, at an impressionable young age, I was terrified by at least half the toys on sale. All the vibrators were that sickly shade of orangey brown that’s supposed to pass for flesh; the packages all featured 80’s soft-core porn stars with big permed hair and frosted lipstick; and more than a few of them were huge – one was the shape and size of a pineapple!

I left with my wallet intact.

These days, toys have got a lot more woman-friendly and some of them are so positively discreet that you’d hardly know they were sex toys at all.

Here are my favourites. Sometimes it pays to be discreet…

I Rub My Duckie
One of the original discreet toys and a former winner of best sex toy at the Erotic Awards, the Duckie looks like an innocent bath time toy, but it actually a pretty damn good waterproof massaging vibrator. The classic is my favourite – I am a woman of simple tastes – but the Duckie also comes in Pirate, Bondage, Devil and Paris styles.

Available from Love Honey for £12.89 or Sex Pot for €29.99.

I Rub My Penguin

Even cuter though is the Penguin. It’s a waterproof multi-speed massager, and comes with a little ice shelf that can be wall-mounted in the shower.

Available from Love Honey for £24.99.

Screaming O Screaming Octopus Clitoral Vibrator

Kinda weird looking… but not bad at all for the price. Despite the Screaming O Screaming promised in the name, the vibes aren’t particularly strong so this is a good bet for those who are a little nervous about using a large or rabbit vibrator or don’t want to scare the man in their lives. After all, what man could be jealous of an octopus?

Available from Love Honey for £9.99.

Durex Play Little Gem

Ok, this one doesn’t look like a toy, but it’s so small and discreet, you’ll have no problem hiding it. This little vibe is designed for clitoral stimulation and very good it is too! Try using this on a bloke while giving him a blowjob.

Available on sale for €15 (normally €65!) from Durex

Hippo Vibrator
Another bath time toy. The Hippo is a one-speed massager that’s more sensual than sexual, but still, he’s kinda cute…

Available from Sex Pot for €29.99.

Tingle Tip Electric Toothbrush Clitoral Stimulator

Not bad at all for such a small toy. The Tingle Tip fits onto an Oral B electric toothbrush (remove the brush first!).

Available from Love Honey for £9.99.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 8th, 2008 at 1:25 pm and is filed under sextoys. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.